I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
