ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
