The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
