You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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