remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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