sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She needs sedatives and a leash
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
