i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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