Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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