Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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