To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize