In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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