She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
