put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
did i just pee glitter
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
