i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
