Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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