I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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