is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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