you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
