It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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