after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My ass is underappreciated
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
