why didn't you poke me back
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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