i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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