who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
