I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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