Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
