So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
