No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
