we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
