Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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