that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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