Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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