what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
