Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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