On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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