found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
