We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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