Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
