Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That's when you crack a 10am beer
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
