i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
