I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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