his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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