is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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