I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
