I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Houston, we have a squirter
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
