Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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