He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize