and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
