Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Randomize
