Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
