I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
