It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
