remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I accidentally burped into my bong.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
