paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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