I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
