do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
