Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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