take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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