just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
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