Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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