I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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