nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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