Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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