im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have demons in me.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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