I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Jerry, you need to find god
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
